PANELS
Although fictional, Phil Michal Thomas' new book draws heavily on the reality of life in gay Nashville...
by Joyce Arnold Ph.D.
Many community members will recognize the name of Phil Michal Thomas. In biographic information he provided Freedom Press, for which he is a contributing writer, Thomas describes himself as "One of the Dinosaurs from the early years of the human rights movement in nashville" as well as an "AIDS Activist, Educator, Author." That experience is the basis for Thomas' PANELS, a work of fiction that captures the years when HIV/AIDS became an undeniable epidemic that took the lives of so many gay men, among others. The story of a "circle of friends" is set in the period of the late 1980's to 2003. The "AIDS Quilt" comprised of panels which represent the lives of many who have been lost to AIDS, is the basis for the title of the book.
While fiction, Thomas draws heavily on the reality of life in gay Nashville duriing those years. "The book is...based on the lives of actual people. Their names and more specific details about their lives were altered since many still have family living and did not know fully of their situations. There is one particular mother who has read the novel and actually told me it gave her some closure. She realized that her son didn't hate her but wanted to spare her the pain of watching his last few moments on thi earth"
When asked how and why he developed the combination of fact and fiction which structures the book, Thomas said, " This part was actually easy. I merely took the facts presented and embellished on telling the stories." His further response provides insight into his thinking, as well as a kind of preview of what the reader can expect: "As if by some destiny, I began to counsel individuals living with some form of a terminal illness. I witnessed first hand...individuals being abandoned by their family and friends because of the 'gay cancer' as it once was referred to."
The professional work which Thomas did during those years gives him first hand knowledge of the devastating impact of HIV/AIDS, experience which is evident in the story. "For several years, I facilitated support groups with people living with HIV/AIDS for AID-Atlanta, and here in Nashville. While in Atlanta, I became a loud advocate for those living with AIDS. Silence equaled Death, remember?"
The book itself, he says, "began to take shape at the close of one of these sessions. The need became apparent in 1987 while on a bus trip back from Washington D.C., after the "March on Washington.' Two of the participants stated very eloquently how they wished they could tell people their stories and hopefully prevent others from having to live in agony...Even then, people were aware of the dreadful virus but obviously felt immunity to the threat of AIDS." Thomas reflects on the reality of what some referred to, during that period, as the "funeral, or two, of the week. "Attendance at memorials was as common as the sun rising. However, the infections continued to rise. In an unselfish loving act, these friends wanted their stories told to keep the living living."
PANELS specifically focuses on the lives of gay African-American men although there are other ethnic races in the inner circle. A small group of friends are forced to deal with the disease as they discover, one by one, that they have contracted the virus. The physical, emotional, and relational struggles that result are centralto the story Thomas tells. The story, in fact, continues, and so PANELS has an immediate, as well as historical, relevance. He notes that, currently, "African-Americans die from AIDS at a higher rate than others. Even with this knowledge, the media continues to capture the world of AIDS as being predominately forthe young, preppie, and pretty white gays." He continues, "Perhaps it was either ignorance or fatal denial, but a majority of black homosexuals did not relate to the label as being gay and somehow possibly felt that the warnings relating to AIDS did not include them. Absent from many of the countless movies and books with gay characters are those of color. I have had the fortunate chance of knowing numerous black gay men who have fought the battle with AIDS. I wanted to tell their stories as well."
Middle Tennessee residents will recognize places, times, and people in Thomas' novel. Indirectly, readers will get to know something about the man who writes about a very painful period in LGBT history, but who also knows the support and hope provided, then and now, by friends, caregivers, and sometimes, by family.
"I'm someone that is extremely nostalgic for the past. When I first came out into the world of gaydom, I had the pleasure of meeting people who were so different from me and yet so similar to me. People who took the time to teach me how to survive. People who taught me that I was okay although the world at large told me I was a freak, an abomination. I remember hearing the late Della Reeves telling me that she needed to watch over me because I was so green.I cried when I learned that she was stabbed to death by an acquaintance. I remember Terri Livingston performing at an AIDS benefit at the Cabaret Reunion while she herself was sick. I close my eyes and I can still see my old friends. I can hear their laughter. When I open my eyes, I see their absences...As I know of the true identities of the characters in PANELS, their lives will always be imprinted in my mind."
Thomas concluded, "If there are any messages I could convey to the readers, the significance would be to never forget the friends of your life and to always be mindful of their love for you."
